By Chloe Marsicano, Search Consultant
I don’t think people realize how much of recruiting has nothing to do with the job itself.
When most people think about recruiting, they picture resumes, job descriptions, and filling an open role. That’s definitely part of it, but it’s not what actually determines if a placement works.
A lot of the job comes down to how well you understand people.
The soft skills, communication, active listening, relationship building, and empathy, are often the most overlooked part of recruiting. In an industry so focused on numbers and outcomes, it’s the ability to prioritize the human side of the process that separates a good recruiter from a truly effective one.
Why Soft Skills Matter in Recruiting
Recruiting is frequently treated like a transaction, and that’s where a lot of things start to go wrong.
One of the biggest gaps I see is when the focus stays on whether someone looks right on paper. Does the resume check out? Do they have the right experience? Do they hit all the requirements?
All of that matters, but it’s not the full picture.
The real conversations are around:
- Why someone is open to leaving
- What they’re trying to change
- Whether the role actually moves them forward
That’s the part that’s easy to miss if you’re trying to move quickly.
When that piece gets skipped, it shows up later with candidates stepping into roles that aren’t really what they wanted, and clients hiring someone who technically fits but doesn’t fit culturally. Next thing you know, everyone is back at the beginning, trying to figure out what went wrong.
What This Looks Like in Real Conversations
Recently, I worked with a candidate for a C-suite role who, on paper, was exactly what my client was looking for. If I had just stopped there, it would have been an easy submission.
But after a few conversations, it became clear that the real reason they were open to leaving had nothing to do with title or compensation. It came down to:
- Work-life balance
- Being more present for their family
- Avoiding the same situation they were already in
They were hesitant, and rightfully so. That realization completely changed how I approached it.
Instead of just pushing them through the process, I went back to my client and had a real conversation about what this person would actually need to make a move. Because of that, the conversation shifted for the candidate, and for how the client thought about the role moving forward.
Reading Between the Lines in Recruiting Conversations
A lot of the job is picking up on what people aren’t saying. You can usually tell when a candidate can’t clearly explain:
- Why they’re leaving
- What they actually want next
It’s not that they don’t have an answer. It’s that they haven’t fully worked through it yet. That’s where you have to slow it down.
Instead of moving on, I’ll:
- Rephrase the question
- Share examples from similar candidates
- Make the conversation feel less formal
Once that happens, people start to open up, and everything gets clearer.
Handling the Tough Conversations
Not every conversation in recruiting is easy. There are times when you have to tell someone they’re not moving forward or share feedback they weren’t expecting.
Avoiding those conversations doesn’t help anyone. If I have feedback, I try to be as clear and specific as possible. Share feedback when I have it or go back and ask for it if I don’t. People can handle honesty; what’s frustrating is not understanding what happened.
Why the Human Side of Recruiting Matters More Today
I’ve noticed it’s getting harder to have real conversations.
Especially with younger candidates, there’s more hesitation around picking up the phone and going beyond surface-level answers. That makes the importance of soft skills in hiring that much more important.
If you don’t push past that initial layer, you’re making decisions based on half the story.
Can You Learn This?
I do think these skills can be taught, but they also develop over time. The more conversations you have, the more comfortable you become.
In the beginning, it can feel uncomfortable:
- Talking to people you don’t know
- Asking questions that feel personal
- Trying to build trust quickly
What helped me was thinking about it less like a business transaction and more like a conversation. When you put yourself in someone else’s position, it changes how you listen and how you respond.
Key Takeaway: Why Soft Skills Matter in Recruiting
Strong resumes and good opportunities matter, but neither is enough on its own. The difference comes down to building genuine trust, understanding what’s driving candidate and client decisions, and guiding both sides through tough conversations.
Recruiting will always involve the technical side, but what actually leads to the more impactful outcomes and genuine long-term relationships is in how well you handle the human side.
Let’s Start the Conversation
At Chesapeake Search Partners, we believe meaningful placements begin with understanding.
Let’s start the conversation around your next search strategy.